Top-10 Reasons For Michael Waltrip's Crash

So Michael Waltrip says it was simply a case of the snoozies that had him hurtling off a country road at 70 miles per hour in North Carolina Friday.

Come on now, there’s got to be more to that story. It just doesn’t add up, especially considering the fact that Mikey has been having trouble getting up to 70 mph lately on the race track.

With that we offer up the top-10 reasons Michael Waltrip crashed last week.

1. --- With NASCAR's current testing limitations you’ve got to get qualifying practice in whenever you can get it.

2. --- Trying to beat out Brian France and Scott Wimmer on NASCAR’s list of zaniest off the track wrecks.

3. --- Darned paparazzi, can’t outrun them even on an off weekend.

4. --- No restrictor plate on the car. Even Mikey knows he can’t drive worth a lick if there’s no restrictor plate.

5. --- With his failure to make races, Toyota officials have told him he has do something to earn the money they’re paying him, even if it means being a crash test dummy on their street cars.

6. --- DW was in the passenger seat trying to take the wheel. You know how bad he wants to drive Mikey’s dream machine.

7. --- Since the TV cameras haven’t been looking for him as much at the race track, figured it was a good way to get some face time on the tube.

8. --- Obviously the problem was Goodyear didn't bring a good tire.

9. --- If off road racing made Jimmie Johnson a Nextel Cup champion, Mikey figured it couldn’t hurt to try it.

10. --- Totally missed the setup.

Shawn Courchesne, 1:22 a.m.

Remember, be kind, don't cut and paste to your favorite message board, post the link.

Comments

[Precision Automotive, Inc.]

Shawn: My favorite is #6:

"DW trying to take the wheel as he's always wanted to drive Mikey's
dream (on) machine"......

Great stuff.......Linda Case

[tcrowley]

Michael has been having a hard time lately in most everything he touches. But it is his own doing. I for one am tired of his excuses and game face. He had the fuel problem at Daytona and has no idea of how or why it happened. Not possible. No one in their right mind would make that statement and expect it to be believed.
He is very good in front of the camera but that does not make him a manager or team owner as it takes more than the gift of gab.
I don't wish him or his brother any ill will but I am VERY tired of hearing about/ from the both of them.

[Bryce]

Another week, another great Michael Waltrip bash from the Great Shawn Courchesne...You are really trying to ride this horse until it dies aren't you??

[Jason]

If he can't keep it on the road at 70 how can he at 200. . . Maybe thats why he can't make a race falls asleep before lap is over! ! !

[Darrell]

Oh my - someone really does not like Michael... You are a reporter right? Try and find something news worthy...

From Shawn:
Last I looked, it's mentioned on pretty much any sports news site out there. It's not news?

[Bob Hotton]

Micheal is so overated he is a has been that never was! It shows he has the gift of gab but never can deliver the goods.I'm glad Toyota got caught with this loser.

[Anson Birk]

How convenient for "Mikey" that he can tell authorities hours later after he left the scene of an accident that he "fell asleep".
I say this stinks and I hope he is not shown any preferential treatment because he is famous.
I predict that someday soon we will see "mikey" show up on the Surreal Life.
As "mikey" once said after falling out of a race, "I'm still the guy who won the Daytona 500".
Pathetic

[Heather]

All of the reports have had different information...

I find it interesting that now they have a witness's photos and a statement from her that says that she spoke to him. I'm really interested in what he had to say before he left the scene...

[Ross Cunningham]

Outstanding Shawn! Especially the mentions of Brian France boozing and driving and Wimmer hiding under the bed trying to avoid a drunk driving rap. Now we need to inform NAPA, Dominos, Burger King, Toyota that we will not support their products if they support a drunk driver. Mikey gotta go!

From Shawn:
Wait, I never said he was drunk !!!

[ddsbstrb]

I love in one of the latest stories how Wall-Banger starts walking home as soon as the young female driver, who came upon the wreck, recognized him, and says she is calling 911. Banger immediately starts to book for the "Compound". Sounds to me like he had been drinking. This guy can not win for losing, can he? Big mistake for ol' "Hair"! He is so unfocused by this ordeal, how in the hell could he ever qualify on Friday? Wow, a 40 year-old man, hiding under the bed and not dealing with the police until 18 hours had passed. What an idiot!

[Chris Goldsnider]

Shawn,
Waltrip crashing his personal "Dream Machine" is a twist nobody could have written and luckily the man didn't hurt himself. I don't know which is funnier - this “I fell asleep, walked home and showered” story or you're top 10? I laughed pretty hard at both..

Mikey landing on the "Surreal Life" actually doesn't sound that far off.

Just think of all the camera time he could have..

From Shawn:
Can you imagine the Surreal Life then? Half the show would be sponsor plugs.
"I'd like to thank the good people at NAPA for giving me the opportunity to be on the show."

[bandit]

Does this count as Mikey's "third strike"?

From Shawn:
That remains to be seen.

[Carl Leazer]

I ONCE HAD A VERY PROMINENT ATTORNEY IN THE CHARLOTTE AREA TELL ME TO DO EXACTLY WHAT MICHAEL DID. HE EVEN WENT AS FAR AS TELLING ME TO GO AHEAD AND OPEN THE DOOR WHEN TROOPERS SHOW UP. HE SAID YOU COULD BE STANDING THERE WITH A BOTTLE OF BOOZE IN YOUR HAND AND THERE IS NOTHING THEY COULD DO. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR SOMEONE COME FORWARD AND SAY WHERE MICHAEL WAS IN THE HOURS PRIOR TO THE WRECK..BOOZEDY...BOOZEDY..BOOZEDY BOYS LETS GO DRINKIN'

[charlie]

I'm glad he's ok and I don't care if he was drunk all I care about is that he is fine and I think you guys should back up a little bit because I think the big story is DEI and JR not the star anymore haha you know it's a matter of time before they screw truex just like they did Mikey

[charlie turner]

Shawn
Very funny stuff. Just found your blog today. I enjoy your style. we linked to this post. Check us out when you have time. Us yankees have to stick together. I can't believe I just called myself a yankee.

[kcjsmoket20]

You are great we love it! I go through the older ones too! I will put a link up on the site next week! Check us out, we are a fan site for bloggers and writters that are racing fans.

[Mike in Canada]

I guess the pole he hit is the only pole he'll see all year.