Today I went to a yoga class in Manchester. It is common, after yoga, to be "yoga-stoned," which is to say a little out-of-reality. Which I was. Which may explain why I looked at the screw sitting on my rear bumper and said to myself: Oh! I wonder if that screw somehow balanced itself on my bumper while I was driving around and, if so, why.
It wasn't until I got home that the obvious dawned on me. Someone had stolen my rear license plate. Which means that my dog Malcolm watched, with deep, abiding interest, out the back window of my Subaru station wagon while somebody carefully unscrewed the plate.
At home I called the Manchester Police Department and, after nagivating their phone tree, followed -- apparently -- the instruction "press # to talk to the least interested person in a stolen license plate."
He was almost exactly as stitrred-into-police-work as he would have been if I had reported a squirrel on my bird feeder.
Meanwhie, I was pretty sure Charles Starkweather had jacked my license plate, stolen a car and gone on a murder spree.
It turns out no one cares.
Well, it was good of them to leave you the rest of the car. (And Malcolm!)
Once Malcolm comes to terms with having witnessed the crime, he'll probably be ready to talk, or at least to sniff out the perp from a line-up. Don't rush him, though. He's been through enough.
Posted by: jennifer | May 20, 2007 at 01:29 PM
Yoga Stoned is a great feeling. But damn who would steal a license plate?
Posted by: CGG | May 20, 2007 at 10:11 AM
I care. Enough to actually walk outside just seconds ago and check my license plate (I parked on Main Street). My plate is still there, but probably because at 10+ years, the screws may be rusted on permanently.
At least you can put a PLATE STOLEN homemade tag in your window until you get a replacement (A good rainy Sunday project). The DMV is a lot kinder and gentler place these days. And you will have some material for your radio show, "stolen license plates" is probably one of those issues that will get people calling in with personal near-death due to lost tags experiences, pro-death-penalty-for-license-plate-thieves advocates, and expert opinions from state officials.
War in Iraq? Feh...
Global Warming? Yawn...
Stolen License Plate? Gimme the phone Agnes, I'm calling in!
Better still, a contest. Spot Colin's Plate and win free tickets to the Red Sox or something.
Posted by: Jude | May 20, 2007 at 06:34 AM
Malcolm knows balance
A jacked tab from one's Hoopty
Dew on the Buddha.
Posted by: I miss my Shepherd | May 19, 2007 at 10:51 PM
During my former girlfriend's short, brave stint cohabitating with me in Frog Hollow, I made a reflective decal that was a perfect replica of her legal license plate and stuck it directly to the tailgate of her hatchback in place of the original. By creating something that was both theft-deterrent and counterfeit, I took some small personal comfort from effectively flipping off both sides of the law. I feel like doing that sometimes around here...
Gimme a shout when you get your new tags. I'll hook you up, man, no charge.
Posted by: interstatement | May 19, 2007 at 10:36 PM
On behalf of the nice people of the town of Manchester, I would like to apologize for the bad apple that ruined it for all of us.
Hey, maybe it wasn't a criminal-type, but a fan who wanted a souvenir?
I guess now you'll have to draw a license plate and tape it in your back window.
Or just put the front one on the back.
Posted by: Tricia | May 19, 2007 at 09:43 PM