Crime of the Century Part II

Were I  in charge of any bureaucracy, there would be a form called the PFNH

So that, if you called up about, let's say, a stolen license plate, the person who answered the phone would at least say, "Would you like to come in an file a PFNH on this?"

"What's that?""

"It''s an official declaration by you that you would prefer this had not happened. It doesn't have any real legal force, but many people like to make that a matter of record."

The Manchester Police Department does not have that form. When I called up yesterday about my stolen license plate, I assumed that time was of the essence, seconds were ticking away. They needed to get this into some kind universal computerized data base so that when cops "run the plates" on a suspicious-looking shiny black Escalade, they'll find out those plates are stolen and  are supposed to be on the five-year-old Subaru of a middle-aged-man with a creaky knee and a black pacifist mixed-breed dog. Hey, I watch TV.

"Stop by and fill out a form," the Manchester cop said.

"Well, I'm not in Manchester anymore. I live in Hartford."

"That's OK. Just stop in next time you're in Manchester.""

Awkward silence. You mean like, whenever?

Myself:  "Is there something else I should be doing? Doesn't somebody need to be notified?"

"You should call Motor Vehicles, but they're going to tell you to file the report with us and then bring them a copy."

Time was, like, so totally not of the essence.

It was Saturday afternoon. Motor Vehicles was closed.  Do criminals know they have this kind of grace period? If you steal a license plate on a Saturday around noon, you probablyhave about 2.5 days before anybody even thinks of it as stolen. You can put it on stolen cars, run toll plazas, whatever.

Comments

[Heidi Mallett]

I have to thank you for the laughter that you started my Monday off with. To find humor in the mess of Rt 84 in Waterbury was genius. Thanks. I'm a homecare nurse and have the misfortune of using that road more than I like as most of us do and your words will help some of those long hours. Can I have a copy of the article to email to my son who lives in Waterbury and doesn't get the Courant? He being a liberal will also appreciate that his conservative mother is sending him something from you!! Thanks again. We finally agree on something:)

[Helen Thompson]

Re: The Turn of the Screw...Isn't it time you indulged yourself in a Vanity Plate, Colin? I suggest turning it into a contest for your audience with the prize being twin Jaguars!

[Jude]

From today's Courant: "Ellis threatened a clerk at Dunkin Donuts with a large serrated knife on Saturday around 5:43 p.m., police said. He took cash and fled with Barreto in a black Ford Taurus with a stolen license plate, police said."

A-ha! It's part of a cultural conspiracy towards cardio-vascular dis-ease. Plate stolen from yoga parked vehicle, and used to plunder a donut shop!

Where is Agent Cooper when you need him?

[Ben Davol]

Its a epidemic. I had my plate stolen fom the front of my car while eating at a restaurant in Middleton a few weeks back.

Lucky for me its a company car. I just called HQ and took care of the rest.

[Tim]

Could be worse, Dude. They could've gotten the Creedence too.

[joejoejoe]

You should call Mike Boguslawski. He's in your corner.

From his bio: "Prior to beginning my career in broadcasting, I was a three time City Councilman in Bristol, Connecticut. That led to an appointment as Assistant Chief of Staff to the Honorable Ella Grasso, Governor of the State of Connecticut, followed by an appointment as the Executive Assistant to the Commissioner of the Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection. I also worked in the Department of Motor Vehicles and Department of Revenue Services."

Or you could call James Amman up and if he isn't friends with the guy who stole your plate he'll know who to call to report the crime.

Or try calling the Connecticut State Police. They may want to put the plate number in some kind of database.

[jeffs]

Maybe there's no rush because the police don't want the shmo who took the plates; they want the Macedonian drug dealer or Israeli hit man who's stopped in a few months for going through a red light. They stop the guy, run the plates, and bang, you've helped solve a major crime. In the meantime, they just sit back casual-like and pretend not to care.

[Terrence McCarthy]

Was just behind a Beamer down here with Connecticut License plate:

NMW185

I was going to call the cops, then thought better of it. Probably just a coincidence