Pitchy and Bitchy

For so much time given to it, it was a fairly listless dozen of male singers to kick off the season of live performances on “American Idol” Tuesday.

Picking songs from Edgar Winter, the Moody Blues and Bryan Adams on one hand and Mute Math and Edwin McCain on the other,  with the usual sampling of Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, Brian McKnight and Luther Vandross, it was like being stuck between a couple oldies stations and a bad rock one.

It’s a risk when someone comes up with a recent song, but it paid off for the flame-haired beat-boxer Blake Lewis singing Keane’s “Somewere We Only Know” that made it stand out.

The judges weren’t necessarily harsh, they kept saying, they were being honest. (I’m referring to Randy and Simon – Paula was always blandly nice or echoing whatever Randy said before her). The word “pitchy” again gained wide usage outside of roofing circles. And with so much time available, Ryan Seacrest allowed each singer to rebut whatever negative comment Simon might have (the host was much less concerned with anything Randy or Paula said).

For the biggest show on TV by some distance, you’d think they could afford a bigger studio, to accommodate an audience bigger than just a few rows deep.

The main changes were up in the greenroom already renamed the red room – not in honor of Steven King’s “The Shining” but because of overbearing sponsor Coca-Cola, whose bottle shapes now became part of the pattern of the couch. The room also had a glass coffee table with a tire in the middle of it – if it didn’t tie into a specific car dealership, maybe it was a plug for the upcoming Fox series “Drive.”

What else can I say? I didn’t like the song choice of opener Rudy Cardenas (“Free Ride” – what next, Foghat?). Brandon Rogers began a version of Michael Jackson’s “Rock with You” by slowing it way down and making it his own, before turning the tempo back up into a more standard cover.

Sundance Head has turned into a big stiff with a terrible “Nights in White Satin.” Paul Kim kept his shoes off to sing George Michael's "Careless Whisper"; and Seacrest had time to remove his own shoes to extend the bit some more. Chris Richardson’s cover of Gavin DeGraw was a bit meager, though it had a little life. Nick Pedro didn’t forget the lyrics of “Now and Forever”: he was one of two Hollywood week repeats – the other was a much more successful A.J. Tabaldo singing “Never Too Much.”

I didn’t hate Sanjaya Malakar’s “Knocks Me Off My Feet” though it literally didn’t do that. It was better than Jared Cotter’s stab at Brian McKnight. Chris Sligh obscured his humor with a big dumb power ballad. And Gollum lookalike Phil Stacey (he who missed his wife giving birth) took a while to get his Edwin McCain right.

A few of the auditioners were already doing those dumb number flashing things to remind people to call. And I kept thinking: There’s three more hours of this coming this week.

Comments

[djsa]

Simon loves to say it, but he knows--it’s so NOT a singing competition. It’s entertainment, and sometimes barely that. But--how is it that these contestants get what may be their only chance to perform in front of a shockingly large audience—and they play it safe? Don’t they know you’re supposed to take risks while you’re young? Most of them are going home early, so why not let it all go and rip into a song you love (assuming they can get permission to perform it), and tear it up! Taylor Hicks connected with folks last year--at least in part because he (usually) seemed passionate about the music, and wasn’t afraid to look like a dork. Ah well…Makes me respect last years first loser, Bobby Bennett, who did “Copacabana” for his grandmother—what the heck, why not? Do something you can feel good about 20 years from now. To use the sports cliché, leave it all on the stage…I expect more of the “play-it-safe” disasters this evening. Thank goodness, I’ve got to work tonight, so I can tape it and fast forward through the Whitney Houston numbers…
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