This ‘Dream’ is a Nightmare

They’ve got the dramatic lights and music of the standard primetime game show, and Donny Osmond hosting instead of Jack Bailey, but “The Great American Dream Vote” which premiered Tuesday night on ABC, is nothing more than a slightly higher-tech version of the old pity party, “Queen for a Day.”

This one is for men and women of course, and pits people dreaming of similar things against one another.

First a couple of prematurely bald 20-year-old guys have to plead their cases in filmed bits, short introductions and a series of 15 second pleas. The second was a couple of desperate pageant moms, pleading on behalf of their pageant girls. The third pair argued on behalf of animals – the chicken heaven guy you’ve seen in commercials vs. a woman who wants to open a home for old bassett hounds. Finally, two guys who want to show love to their wives – one wants a flower shop for her, the other wants a pro singer to sing one of the lovesongs he’s composed for her.

Instead of an applause meter, the audience is asked to pick choices on an electronic device. The winners in each instance get to plead again at the end of the show – and now all America can vote as well (sorry dude, we’re still on the phone for “Idol”).

“The Great American Dream Vote” doesn’t have the real pathos of “Queen for a Day” or even that other tear-jerking ABC reality series, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.” Yet the show can’t be staged for us to laugh at these quirky people either – those who’d laugh at pageant moms would have long since switched channels.

The candidates for viewers to choose between at the end of the show were the basset hound woman and the bald guy. I don’t think I’ll be watching Wednesday at 8 to find out who wins.