Because it has come up in the news, led to a significant political downfall and widespread changes in CNN programming, perhaps it’s time to review the unspoken rules of men’s stall behavior, so as to avoid any future confusion at, say, the Minneapolis Airport.
Concerning foot signals from under the adjoining stall
- Foot extended into other’s space - “Just trying to keep pants from sliding; not to worry” or “How’s the weather over there?”
- Foot tapping – Just listening to country music on my iPod dude.
- Foot tapping excitedly – Plane is leaving soon, I’m in a hurry.
- Foot with lit match extended from it – Possible cartoon character or goofball terrorist.
- Bare feet? – No service.
- Snowboot showing – Weather may have changed significantly since you came in.
- Ugg boot showing – Fashions may have changed back, too.
- Orange Croc creeping – Caution!
- Birkenstock, proceeding slowly – Can we talk this out?
- Stocking foot showing – May be looking to inhabit your shoe.
- Wet tissues covering foot, audible sniffs – Here I sit, broken hearted.
- Paw visible – Relax, I’m a seeing eye dog.
- Hoof visible– Who are they letting in these things?
- High heel visible – You may be in the wrong rest room.
Concerning hand signals from under the partition of the adjoining stall:
- Right hand waving under partition, palm down – Looking for errant tissue, not to worry.
- Left hand waving under partition, wedding ring flashing – Married but bored, killing time in Minneapolis.
- Index finger extended – look over there, a common diversionary tactic.
- Two fingers extended – Peace, man.
- Middle finger extended – Back off.
- Pinky and thumb extended, wagging – I’m from Hawaii.
- Thumbs up – Roger Ebert here.
- Thumbs down – The other guy, who replaced Gene Shalit.
- Showing fist – I’m not gay; didn’t see that Al Pacino movie and I may be Tucker Carlson.
- Finger with potato on it – I’m from Idaho.
- Finger with potato, wrist with handcuff – I’m a U.S. Senator from Idaho and I plead guilty.
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