'A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila'

It was premature to call "I Love New York 2" TV’s tawdriest dating show.

Premature by one day, it turns out.

After Monday’s premiere of Tiffany Pollard and her meddling mother (or a woman portraying her), the VH1 franchise lost the distinction Tuesday to "A Shot of Love with Tia Tequila."

MTV’s variation of  gang dating an extreme personality with extreme eyelashes stars not a two time Flavor Flav reject but a woman claiming 2 million friends on MySpace (drop some clothes, apparently, and the friends come running).

The former Tila Nguyen is a tiny woman with an oddly shaped head. But dressed in revealing clothing at all times, all eyes are on her little body, which the 16 guys in the stampeding crowd invited in to date her immediately label as “smokin’ hot. 

"I nevuh been with an Asian chick befo,' " drawls a doofus from West Virginia. "But I love Chinese food."

The local guy to cheer for, unfortunately, is Michael B, a pizza delivery guy from Rhode Island who gushes, "I’m a guy who sleeps on my mom’s couch, and now I’m in a four story mansion. I can’t believe this. This is crazy." (One other misfortune: they misspell his hometown as Warwich).

Not since "Average Joe" has there been such a collection of romantic clunkers, but Tila is intrigued -- she saves both pizza guy and the West Virginian cowboy, who had started a fight with a rapper with a shrill, high-pitched laugh (who gets to stay too).

But guys are only half the story. Tila is bisexual, she announces on the show, allegedly for the first time (hi mom!). So in come 16 lesbians, licking their lips for their own taste of an internet star.

They’re only slightly more socially appropriate but altogether more fun to watch. Episode one ends with the announcement that both boys and girls will be vying for her affection.

The boys pretend to be jaw-droppingly shocked; but maybe the smoking hot implications haven’t hit them yet.

And if you’re missing hearing actual music on MTV, Rilo Kiley did appear as credits rolled.

Comments

[Kunesh]

She's gotta a weird-shaped head.