Roger Catlin | TV Eye

Hillary Goes Bowling

It would have been a good bit – Ellen DeGeneres taking Hillary Clinton bowling as a contrast to Barack Obama’s widely reported and heavily embarrassing score of 37 last week in Pennsylvania.

After all, last time she was on Ellen’s show, they went and had coffee together in Columbus Circle.

In Monday’s show, however, she didn’t have time to take the senator to a bowling alley. Instead they set up what looked to be one of those plastic bowling sets on the stage (with sound effects added to make it sound from an actual alley).

Nevermind that Clinton joked a week ago that the two have a bowling competition as part of an April Fool Joke. When it came time to bowling, the candidate protested that she hadn’t bowled since she was in the White House (which only served to remind you that, hey, she’s already lived in the White House eight years).

But when it comes down to it, who couldn’t beat a 37?

Well, she only had two balls to throw for the frame but the first went wayward hitting nothing. It would have been a gutter ball, had there been a gutter in the studio.

Given a second ball, it knocked one pin down (Ellen who knocked down three, did three times better).
So the running score for the Democratic candidates, if you’re counting only pins is: Clinton 1, Obama 37. It’s a lot like their delegate race: Neither has enough to win, yet Obama is considerably ahead. 

Ellen for her part got off a couple questions about recent developments – about her misstatement on a Bosnia trip, or the pressure she’s had to quit the race. But she didn’t mention the firing of a campaign adviser.

And like last time, Clinton didn’t claim the whole hour (the way Obama claims all of the “Today” show tomorrow – and that’s four hours worth).

No, Clinton had to have Kylie Minogue on and present a story about an Iraq soldier who brought back a dog he befriended there.

There must be some sort of rule about having dog segments on daytime shows. I’m thinking of Oprah’s puppy mill show last week and Ellen’s dog confession. But now Ellen is a dog food mogul and she presented the imported dog (who couldn’t be on the set because of what? security reasons?) a lifetime supply of her food. 

Kathie Lee's Return

All though Monday’s edition of the "Today" show, they kept heralding the return to daytime TV of Kathie Lee Gifford.

They showed her entering the studio with some fanfare, sitting in makeup with big rollers in her hair, tossing donuts at her staff, standing around with a hair extension limp in her hand – all these preparations for when she was ushered out of 30 Rockefeller Center at 10 a.m. to help co-host the final hour of the overlong daily network show.

That’s right – out. She had to do her show outside, where wind played havoc with that hair after all that planning, and fans behind her were more interested in seeing themselves on TV, waving and distracting throughout the hour, than in seeing Kathie Lee (which may have been understandable since they apparently couldn’t hear her either).

By 10 a.m., what began as a quasi news show at 7 a.m. had already descended into cooking and pregnancy tips (and a dozen local break-ins for weather). They were way past even the celebrity interviews by then.

Whether it’s intended for late-risers or those who just can’t be bothered with complicated recipes or life tips that came before, Gifford and her co-host with the unpronounceable name Hoda Kotb are meant to sit and chat for that hour – at a time when people locally anyway can catch Regis with Kathie Lee’s successor Kelly Ripa chatting at 9 a.m. and before they turn to Whoopi, Babara Walters, et al. chat at 11 a.m. on “The View.” By noon, a home viewer could be fully exhausted with having rehashed the days issues three times already with their TV friends.

There wasn’t much time for issues Monday, as Hoda and Kathie Lee got to know one another with fun facts (Hoda has no middle name; Kathie Lee was kicked out of a “Charlie’s Angels” casting session).
For much as she’s presented as a daytime TV monster, Gifford is actually pretty self-effacing and funny. She’s made for morning TV. And best of all, she’s sworn off talking about her kids (by order of her kids themselves).

The problem is there’s precious little to do at 10 a.m. that hadn’t been earlier on “Today.” They can chat with one another, bring on Harvey Fierstein, who is a welcome change in tone at least from the women, and they can bring on a bouncy troupe that vaguely hypes “Secret Talents of the Stars” later this week (of course Hoda and Kellie Lee have to try on the devices as well, though they don’t try to bounce much).

Back in the studio, Harvey gets to sing a song about renewing one’s life from his new musical that he dedicates to Kathie Lee. The camera is on her more than him and still she doesn’t quite provide the tear the director is looking for.

It was still a nice moment, if only because they were back in the studio and away from the wind and the waving hordes.

Mourning Dogs on Oprah

What is it about afternoon talk show hosts breaking down over the dogs they keep? Both of the leading daytime hosts have been reduced to tears about their animals.

Last October it was Ellen DeGeneres, famously breaking down and wailing about a dog she adopted and later gave to her hairdresser (only to be seized by the humane society from which it came).

Saturday, it was Oprah Winfrey, grieving over her own dog.

"I'm dedicating this hour to my little Sophie, who you may have heard died last month," she said at the outset, tears seeming to well in her eyes. “She died March 10. Sophie gave me 13 years of pure unconditional love."

Steadman and Gayle be damned, we may surmise from Oprah’s declarations about Sophie: "She was the true love in my life."

"In fact.” Oprah added, “she’s been one of the greatest reasons for me being a kindler,  gentler person."

(Keep that in mind, "Oprah's Big Give" recipients!).

There followed a montage of this great love. There was the host, taking a walk with her,  brushing her hair, scratching her tummy, bringing her on the set, posing with her on the cover of her magazine and , playing ball with her. It ended with a still portrait of the late chocolate American cocker spaniel bearing the caption SOPHIE 1995-2008.

We see all this while Linda Ronstadt sings the Karla Bonoff song “Goodbye My Friend.”

And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel

So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
It's okay now
Goodbye my friend

Well, Oprah was a mess at the end, tears streaming down, eyes all red, a doubled over handkerchief covering her mouth as if to keep us from hearing her wail.

"I knew that was going to be hard," she said, also knowing that tears, even her own, make for good TV.

Obama on 'The View'

Joy Behar got right down to business with Barack Obama on "The View" Friday, intersecting politics with celebrity in a way daytime TV understands:

She: I understand you're related to Brad Pitt in some way.

He: Yeah.

She: How are you related to Brad Pitt?

He: I guess we are ninth cousins something removed or something.

She: Isn't that fascinating stuff!

He: I think he got the better looking side of the gene pool.

She: Not necessarily.

Time for Barbara Walters, that longtime newswoman, interviewer of Castro and kings, to step in and add some gravitas to the situation.

Barbara Walters: Joy and I were just saying before you came out ... maybe we shouldn't say this.

Joy: Go ahead!

Babs: We thought you were very sexy looking.

[applause from audience]

What is this? Seventh grade or a rerun of "Are You Hot?"

Lisa Ling Back on 'The View' for a Day

Lisa Ling returned to "The View" Thursday for the first time since she left three years ago, and the place was almost completely different.

Barbara Walters was there. But Joy Behar was out sick. And everybody else – Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Sherri Shepherd and Whoopi Goldberg was added after she left (Hasselbeck in fact was her “younger person” replacement).

They introduced her by way of showing some of the things she had done while on the show, dancing with Justin Timberlake, donning a Sumo suit to do some wrestling with a real warrior, getting her belly button pierced.

"Was that really me? Maybe it was Lucy Liu?" Ling said, referring to the actress with whom she is often confused.

Her purpose was to promote her new special for Oxygen airing Sunday about teenage prostitutes in the U.S. called “Sex Workers or Victims," for which she showed a brief clip.

"We’re very proud nd the kind of work you’re doing," Walters told her in a most motherly way.

'Betty Toons'

Up early this Saturday morning and trawling the high numbers on cable, caught "Betty Toons," a crudely animated kids' cartoon show regarding the adventures of one Betty La Fea.

It's the cartoon version of the "Ugly Betty" phenomenon that swept most of Latin America before it became a U.S. prime time hit as well. In this one, it's Betty, in braces and TV-set sized glasses back in school days, rather like "Lil' Bush."

The stories are frequently more about her classmates -- a lovesick one in today's episode -- than it is about Betty, judging from today's cartoon alone. The animation is crude to say the least, with big black discs for eyes and strange squiggles for noses on some of the characters. The up shot is that Betty is no uglier than anyone else.

Running Saturday mornings on the Telefutura network, it is of course all in Spanish and intersperced with another cartoon called "Junior," which is just as odd in its own way as the characters (about the same age as the ones in "Betty Toons") are more stylized in design and have much more motion in facial expressions and hands and feet, apparently animated by computer. The odd things is that there aren't arms that connect the hands to the body, nor legs to connect feet to the torso. It's part of the design, but hard to get used to.

Anyway, it was all odd enough to keep on, right through to "Plaza Sesamo," the Latin version of "Sesame Street," which is very similar to the U.S. version but with a whole raft of its own characters, a big rooster instead of a big bird for example. Kermit has an oddly deep voice, Baby Bear has an accent but no speech impediment, and the cartoon and filmed bits as fanciful as the ones we know. One difference, though, is that this one comes with commercials.

Oprah's 'Big Give' Me a Break

"Oprah's Big Give" did pretty well in its Sunday premiere -- with 15.6 million viewers it was the third highest premiere this season.

So does it really need the added boost of Oprah's own afternoon show? She spent an awful lot of her Monday show showing a recap of her Sunday show, talking to the woman who was kicked off and chatting with the TV cook turned chief judge on the show, Jamie Oliver, about what went on.

She also had one of her elves show up at the door of someone who decided to do her own "Big Give" project, wears a Big Give T-shirt and mostly stood and trembled and said "Hi Oprah" when her leader showed up via camera crew to see her. (Mostly Oprah wanted to know why it took so long for her to answer her door).

I'm assuming all of the stations carrying "Oprah" are OK with her incessantly plugging an ABC show for such a stretch.

Even Tyra never plugged "America's Next Top Model" to this extent on her daytime show.

Mariah's Return to 'TRL'

If you wanted to trace back the point of Mariah Carey’s career meltdown , it would have been a loopy appearance on MTV’s "Total Request Live" in July 2001 in which she pushed an ice cream cart and did an unsolicited strip teased for a flustered Carson Daly.

She’s made a comeback since then with 2005’s "The Emancipation of Mimi" and even today acted pretty normal when she got onto the set of "TRL."

It came as part of Spankin’ New Ladies Week, which isn’t nearly as kinky as it sounds – just a way to organize all the releases suddenly coming out.

In addition to Carey, who introduced her new video that co-stars the guy who plays Kenneth the page on "30 Rock," Taylor Swift performed and gave away a signed guitar, Ashanti marched in and did an interview,  and Christina Ricci hyped her new movie "Penelope."

But Carey was for all intents the big star in a week that has already seen Janet Jackson and Jordin Sparks stop in.

I know what you’re thinking: You didn’t even think "TRL" was still on. But while the crowds are more tame there and the VJs almost entirely new, it’s still the place for stars to pop in when their new product is about to pop out.

You don’t always need an ice cream cart to emphasize any meltdowns.

A Newer 'Light'

A new production model is being touted at one of the oldest soaps.

Officials at "The Guiding Light" says it will revolutionize daytime TV with a new approach to its technical presentation, through improved direction, editing and scenic design. Together they will bring  "a modern, more realistic look" to what it calls "the longest running show in broadcast history," a press release says.

It involves increasing the number of sets in the fictional seaside city of Springfield from eight to 40, increasing the percent of shots on location to 20 percent and exclusively using hand-held cameras to give an added realism.

CBS is planning a press day later this month to tout the new advances, which it was probably waiting through the strike to announce. Soap operas were one script-heavy area of TV that conspicuously kept churning out new episodes throughout the three month strike.

They did so through the use of "financial core" members of the Writers Guild of America, who essentially pay some union dues and are covered by agreements but are not compelled to strike. But with a few writers mentioned in the credits (instead of the dozen or more such shows require), there is the thought that various network execs, secretaries, producers, gofers and, many assume, scabs are were also involved in churning out scripts.

Princess Leia to Return

You won’t recognize her with the clip-on side-buns gone and a little lip gloss.

Christina Tolisano of Enfield, one of the memorable early auditioners on "American Idol" dressed as a character from "Star Wars," restarts her 15 minutes of fame with an appearance today on the daytime "Maury" where she will unveil her makeover and get to perform one more time.

The self-styled dork, 24, who dressed as Princess Leia from on "Idol" may have not advanced on that show on the season premiere last month, but she’ll get her shot to perform in the daytime show’s competition for the "People’s Idol." The winner will record a single in New York.

In addition to showing off her makeover, Tolisano will sing Melissa Etheridge’s "I'm the Only One" on Tuesday’s "Maury," seen locally on WTIC, Channel 61 at 4 p.m.

Tolisano "gave a less than stellar performance" on "Idol," host Maury Povich says in a press release. “We wanted to look past those side buns and see Christina’s true potential."