Roger Catlin | TV Eye

No Fake Immunity for Eliza

Her fellow competitors never took to Eliza, either during her first run on "Survivor" or during her return on the current "fans vs. Favorite." I never really knew why. It could have been her bug eyes or her constant paranoia.

As the mixed up tribes tried to get used to life together, Eliza started to alienate others, starting with those she pledged her alliance to, particularly Pavarti, who seemed peeved by this attention and campaigned against her.

Her only ally is Jason, the Ozzy-worshiper about to turn on him. After beating him in the season's first individual immunity challenge, an awful competition in which they have to stay under a cage as water fills it up. In the end, Jason beat Ozzy, who looked sickened and pale. But if Jason was going to razz on Ozzy for being cocky, he was starting to be a little cocky himself in his win. Worse, he was still deluded into thinking he had the hidden immunity idol though it was a fake one that Ozzy had left there to fool someone.

Whatever you think of Eliza, she was smart enough to see right off the bat that it was fake when Jason offered it to her to use. She tried to use it anyway, and Jeff Probst flicked it into the fire. Voted out by a vote of 8-2, she's now the first to be on the jury.

Ami's Gone Again

I was glad Ami Cusack was coming back for “Survivor: Micronesia – Fans vs. Favorites because she didn’t get a chance to go as far as she could have in “Survivor: Vanatu.”

but in Malakal, the tribe that keeps losing its immunity challenges (four in a row, and this week’s was tied to reward as well), she was sunk by the desperate campaign by Erik, the last fan left in the tribe.

The rabid understudy to Ozzie (free from a vote out due to a one time decision by the opposing tribe) had to undercut Ami, telling everyone else of her considering voting against the Oz the week before as a sign she can’t be trusted.

Hey, a girl has to keep her options open. She never felt a part of the Amanda Ozzie and Cirie clique and had to listen to possibilities. In the end she didn’t mount a fight against Ozzie last week, a point she failed to make very strongly (and a move she probably now regrets).

This doesn’t mean Ozzie is going all the way. Though he might be the strongest “Survivor” ever, his weakness comes in getting super vengeful anytime he suspects anybody is plotting against him. It will get him in the end.

Another Two Female Fans Go

The rain this season on "Survivor: Micronesia" seems absolutely Macro-nesia. It's practically Biblical. And that may explain why players are exiting two by two, Noah-style.

This week, as last, two people unexpectedly left this "Fans vs. Favorites" season.

And it wasn't just Malakal, which went to tribal council for the third consecutive time, voting out Tracy and leaving Erik the only fan left in the group (nobody wanted to take on Ozzy, though people talked about it).

But things evened out when Kathy decided she couldn't take it any more and after another sleepless night in the rain, demanded to leave.

Her arguments, actually seemed pretty sound:

It's so uncomfortable. It's so unpleasant. I said to myself the other day this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. This is the dumbest thing I've ever done...

I can't do this...I don't know what it is but I'm downward spiraling. I can't take another moment. I can't. ...

It sounded like me, talking about watching so much reality TV.

Dropping Like Flies

The players on “Survivor: Micronesia” are starting to take themselves out of the game by now.

In Thursday’s episode, two were gone by the end. One, Jonathan, had to be removed when his knee – which got some stitches last week – wasn’t healing well and a “Survivor” medic told him it could kill him if he left it like that. As hard as that would be to imagine, he took her advice and was flown out.

Then at the end, Chet begged his tribe-mates to vote him out. He had hurt his foot and had been in pain for days and it seemed like nobody was ever going to vote him out. He was the obvious choice two weeks in a row and each time his tribmates used the obvious to blindside a stronger more threatening player. This has resulted in a weaker team (and a Chet who just kept going).

And even this week, his fellow “fans” Tracy and Erik tried to talk him into staying long enough so they could join with "favorite" Ami to blindside Ozzy, who even though he had the hidden immunity idol was so sure Chet was going he never bothered to play it. It was the clearest shot they’d ever had to getting rid of Ozzy, but it never happened.

Nobody voted for Ozzy. All the votes went for Chet, except the votes of Tracy and Chet -- they both went to Erik for some reason...

Fans Hate the Strong

Chet should have been voted off about three times already on "Survivor: Micronensia" by now if you just count blowing challenges. Add to that not helping around the camp and there's no reason to keep the guy.

Even after the main conceit of the season -- fans vs. favorites -- was dissolved this week, with new tribes  made up of both, it was obvious Chet was a dead weight to his team, the newfangled Malakal. Literally tied to the hulking Joel, he also slowed him down in a game of tag that resulted in a number of injuries.

Bot Ozzy, Amanda and Cirie -- all on the same team -- agreed to get rid of their strongest member Joel as a threat and let Chet stay around another week. That's also what happened last week, when Mikey B was voted out allowing Chet to stay.

Eventually all the strong players will be gone and indeed the Chet shall inherit the earth.

On Her Mary Way

The fan domination of "favorites" on "Survivor: Micronesia" lasted exactly one week.

On Thursday's second episode, the team of fans split between old and young, couldn't start a fire though they had flint, built different shelters, blew a challenge, had a member sent to exile island and ultimately blindsided somebody who had nothing to do with any of that.

Mary didn't see it coming.

It was Chet who everybody thought would go. He got too tuckered out a challenge that involved swimming and retrieving a key. He never found the key and his team never caught up. Mikey B put it this way: "Chet, you blew it with your body, your brains and your heart. That's just not acceptable to be a teammate of mine."

He sounded like he was running the tribe, or at least was a middle manager at a ValuMart. but musclebound Joel didn't like how Mikey was acting the leader. So he went behind his back and told them all to vote for the person he had been spending a lot of time with, Mary.

Mikey seemed at least as blindsided (by their brains and heart, if not body). Breaking up couples is a time honored tradition at such shows, but there's real problems in that arena among the Favorites, where Amanda and Ozzy make out at night and Pavarti and James are getting close to it.

"Get a room!" says Jonathan. Dude, there are no rooms out on the island.

Turning Self Out is Fairplay

Out of the 10 returning players on the new "Survivor: Micronesia," he seemed the one least deserving of the title "favorites."

Indeed, snaggletoothed snake Jonnny Fairplay (this was his wrestling name, remember?) was one of the most underhanded players of the game, though he's introduced in the series as having "played the game perfectly" despite having lost in "Survivor: Pearl Islands."

Already he was wasting no time in ingratiating himself to two different foursomes -- one with bug-eyed Eliza, Jonathan, Yau-Man and Amy; the other featuring impending couples James and Pavarti and Amanda and Ozzy (who apparently hook up next week). But like a guy whose days wandering around a jungle for 39 days are behind him (how can he go out to nightclubs this way?), he began thinking of home, his girlfriend and their impending baby.

Soon he was weeping over the soon to be born baby (Piper, a girl who was actually born Jan. 18) the way he once pretended to weep over his dead grandmother, who of course wasn't dead at all. So when the lazy-looking "favorites" lost their first immunity challenge to the fired-up team of 10 fans (so far not a personality among them), he talked himself up as a guy everyone could vote out.   

And what little else he's accomplished in his life, Fairplay did succeed as the guy you love to hate. So he was the recipient of the show's first near unanimous 9-1 vote at tribal council (despite his pleading, Fairplay ended up voting for Ozzy).

It was almost too easy.

"I definitely feel I did the right thing. I had every single perso here eating out of the palm of my hand and to go out on my own terms, I'm very happy with that," he said over the credits, probably still lying. "Last time i was the biggest badguy ever, this time I'm the responsible adult that people like, some even love."

Love to hate, Jonny. Love to hate.

Tampons, Condoms and 'Survivor'

The day after signing up for two more seasons, Jeff Probst was on the phone, talking up the latest variation of "Survivor," starting next week on CBS.

"Survivor: Micronesia" is the name, though it’s being shot the same place as "Survivor: Palau." And the twist is having 20 "favorites" from past casts (if you can call Jonny Fairplay a favorite) playing against 20 fans (as if you can say anyone who applies for "Survivor" isn’t a fan).

But I had a long lingering question. If the participants can only bring one personal item – a toothbrush or pendant – why are so many women still looking so well groomed and glamorous toward the end of the 39 day ordeal? They must be allowed to shave, right?

Probst was glad to have the opportunity to refute this notion.

"They’re given absolutely nothing," he says. "They’re given a pot and a machete and a flint and that’s it."

Contestants come with the clothes on their back and frankly the question galls him, Probst says. "Even my mom continues to ask me, 'At tribal council, the women look quite beautiful. Are they wearing makeup?' No!"

As for the hairlessness of the women, Probst says, "some of them get a laser procedure beforehand that goes in deeper than shaving."

And while "Survivor" has yet to shoot in high definition, the host says, "Let me tell you, those women have more hair than you can see on day 25."

He recalled a challenge where one woman had to raise her arm over her head and didn’t relish the impending camera. "She said, 'Oh man, this camera is going right up my armpit.' "

So it is a concern of theirs, he says. But he insists, "they don’t have tweezers and they don’t shave.

"People ask, 'Why don’t they arrive wearing three pairs of underwear? We strip search them before they arrive, is why," Probst says.

Everything is tightly controlled, he says. "We provide tampons and condoms and that’s it."

Say what?

Well, they don’t want any "Survivor" babies, Probst says.

And while there has been speculation of "Survivor" hookups in the past, that strange infrared nighttime footage has so far shown mostly only castaway cuddling.

But that all changes in "Survivor: Micronesia."

"We have love affairs this season – plural," Probst says. The love affairs, which play a big part in the game, play out until the end of "Survivor: Micronesia" and start from almost the beginning, he says.

"From episode two they start. And it’s the most intimate footage we’ve ever had of love affairs developing and consummating in a 'Survivor" way."

(By that does he mean the partners say, "Want to know what you're playing for?" to one another first?).

"It was brilliant how we got it, how we captured it," Probst says of the footage which by all rights should have been on the internet by now. "They tried to hide, but we out-thought them and got great footage."

Now, how much of it can they actually show at the 8 o’clock hour, even in infrared?

I suppose we shall see.

"Survivor: Micronesia - Favorites vs. Fans" starts Feb. 7 on CBS.

Todd Wins, but Popularity and Pathos Count Too

Todd Herzog, the scheming flight attendant from Utah won the $1 million prize of "Survivor:China" in Sunday's finale.

But gravedigger James Clement, who was voted out after not using two hidden immunity idols in his possession, won a $100,000 prize voted on by viewers as favorite contestant.

And after lunch lady Denise Martin said she lost her lousy $7 an hour job near Boston because her presence was deemed too distracting to the elementary school, now having to clean toilets as school janitor, show producer Mark Burnett wrote her a $50,000 check himself. (Later, it was determined she asked for the change to become janitor, so she gave the check to a charity of her choice).

It was all part of the fast moving "reunion" part of the show, which regularly is far more entertaining than the two hour finale. Noty only do we get to see a glamorized final three -- with the formerly emaciated Courtney now looking human at nearly 100 pounds -- we got caught up in gossip. Jamie is now dating Erik for example.

Finally, we got to hear about the upcoming "Survivor: Micronesia" season coming in February, which will pit show superfans against "favorite" former contestants, including one from "Survivor: China" (welcome back, James, Denise or Peih-Gee -- the three top vote getters in the viewer vote popularity contest).

Todd himself was presented as a superfan, who planned his game long before he got to China, knowing he needed a strong ally (Amanda), a person smaller than him (Courtney) and a strong man on his side (James).

In the final three with Amanda and Courtney, Todd won in a close vote over Courtney by leveling with the jury that whatever he did to them personally it was all part of the game. Even Jean-Robert, the poker player who promised to bury him, couldn't argue that.

Peih-Gee Thirteen

Actually she's eighty-sixed. But let's say 13 for now because she's been unlucky on "Survivor: China" And since she was finally voted out this week, I'll never get a chance for that headline again.

Peih-Gee Law (that's her last name) wasn't going to last til the final four, as last surviving member of the old Zhan Hu tribe; she had to go if she didn't get immunity, and though she came close she came in second to Amanda, to whom she bonded and considered her plan to take out Todd. Or so we were led to believe. It would have been sweet: an all female final four -- a "Survivor" first? (I'll have to do my research).

Instead it will be like "Survivor: Vanuatu" with one male vs. three females. And back then, it was the guy who won -- Chris Daughtrey, who went on to sing on "American Idol" and release the year's best selling album (wait a minute, that was a different Chris Daughtry, without an e. Clearly, I have to do more research).

This time it looks like nothing will be stopping that weasley flight attendant Todd, who has been scheming long they finished their first shelter. How lucky is he that his alliance is pretty much the final four -- him, Courtney, Amanda and Denise.

Not much was made in the reward challenge that, given the chance to show popularity, Todd and Courtney clearly got all the votes, cast in form of arrows -- Denise got one and Peih-Gee got none. And even Amanda didn't do well. Couldn't these women see the handwriting on the wall? Even with one arrow, though, Denise won the challlenge, because the others shot their arrows into targets with her name on it (it's not as complicated as I'm making it sound).

The reward was to see the Great Wall, where they might have a chance to run into Tyra Banks doing the "America's Next Top Model" shoot. Instead they had food they pretended to not like. Denise, in her second straight reward challenge win, chose Courtney and Todd to join her, leaving Amanda back at camp to bond with Peih-Gee. But they didn't bond enough.

Is there any stopping Todd now? And will the jury admire his nonstop scheming or penalize him for it should he make the final two? Tune in Sunday.